Abstract
In many North Indian communities, the tradition of unilateral gift-giving from the bride’s family to the groom’s family—often termed laina-daina, shagun, or customary presents—extends well beyond the wedding ceremony into festivals, life-cycle events, and routine occasions. This practice, rooted in hypergamous kinship structures that position bride-givers as structurally subordinate, imposes ongoing financial, emotional, and social burdens on the bride’s family. Despite the [ The Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, No. 28, Acts of Parliament, 1961 (India), S-3(2), https://www.indiacode.nic.in.]Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, which criminalises demands for dowry while permitting voluntary listed gifts at marriage, social expectations frequently blur the line between custom and coercion. Drawing on anthropological studies, legal frameworks, empirical data, and qualitative accounts, this paper examines the unidirectional nature of these exchanges, their socio-economic impacts, and the resentment arising from perceived inadequacies in gift “standards.” It argues that this asymmetry perpetuates gender inequality and calls for cultural shifts toward reciprocity, stronger legal enforcement, and awareness initiatives to foster equitable affinal relationships.
This persistent asymmetry is not confined to the wedding day; it permeates post-marital life through festival-specific obligations and life-cycle events such as births, thread ceremonies, and funerals. Recent empirical analyses reveal that modernization—rising male education and urban employment—has paradoxically intensified rather than diminished these expectations, as higher-status grooms command larger “gifts” in competitive marriage markets. Drawing on updated National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data showing over 15,000 dowry-related cases and more than 6,000 dowry deaths annually in recent years, alongside anthropological insights into hypergamous kinship, this paper demonstrates how unilateral affinal giving reinforces structural subordination of bride-givers. It further examines the emotional toll on bride’s families, including resentment over perceived shortfalls in gift “standards,” and proposes multi-pronged interventions: legal reforms emphasizing post-marriage reciprocity tracking, community-led reciprocal gift norms, and educational curricula that explicitly challenge patriarchal interpretations of kinship obligations. Ultimately, the analysis advocates for a cultural reorientation toward equitable affinal alliances aligned with constitutional principles of gender equality and dignity.